I knew that I hadn’t posted anything here in quite a while, but I didn’t realize that it has been two and a half months. “Time flies when you’re having fun” (and even when you’re not.)
I did finally get into a routine of going to the gym three times a week for a full hour-long workout, and I’ve been sticking to it for the past couple of months. A large part of the problem in getting started was just the old rust-bucket that I was driving; it’s a 23 mile round trip to the gym, and I just didn’t trust it not to breakdown on the back roads, miles from anywhere. I was finally able to buy my brother’s old Cadillac and get it back on the road, so I have a much more comfortable and reliable ride, which is a big help.
My nephew also started going with me, so we kind of goad each other into going when necessary, and my schedule is flexible, so we go in the early afternoon when there is hardly anyone using the equipment. I’m actually a bit surprised at how well I have taken to going to the gym, considering that I’ve gone out of my way to avoid exercise for most of my life. The first week was the hardest, naturally – my muscles were bitching up a storm in protest at getting used after all these years – but by the following week that was gone. Now I actually look forward to challenging myself to do more reps or increase the weight. It’s also nice to start seeing some results, although I still have a lot of work to do.
Just before the beginning of summer I decided to get my hair cut really really short. When I was a kid our father always cut our hair himself, and he only believed in old-fashioned flattops. It wasn’t until I got out of the Army in 1975 that I was able to first start letting my hair grow out, and by the late 70s/early 80s it hung down below my shoulder blades. It got old after a while, though, because long hair is a real pain in the ass to take care of, and I eventually went with a more conventional hairstyle. Lately, though, I’ve considered even that length to be a nuisance, and since I was starting to workout I decided to go even shorter. The nice thing about this hairstyle is that I can just maintain it myself. (Sorry for the crappy laptop picture. I’ll have to get my niece to take some new pictures with her digital camera.)
Part of the reason that I have been neglecting this blog is that I have been busy exploring my sexuality over the past few months, discovering what really turns me on, etc., and I just haven’t felt comfortable discussing those issues here, ironically. I guess that’s because I know that some of my straight friends, including my brother, subscribe to this blog and I’m just reluctant to shock their sensibilities with my kinky side.
Not that I’ve done any exploring in real life, yet. Again, part of that was the car issue, since I live in the boondocks, but that’s only one small part of the reason. I’ve been self-conscious about my physical appearance, although I’m getting over that as I continue to loose weight and build up some muscle tone. I’m also embarrassed by the state of my teeth, and I still have to address that problem.
And finally, so far it seems that every guy I’ve hit off with online lives hundreds or literally thousands of miles away. I mean, it’s awesome to have friends in England, Germany, Finland, Brazil, California, etc., but it’s not like we are likely to ever meet in person. And the few guys I’ve met closer to home have all been bottoms, like me, which doesn’t really work out. So many of the tops I see online are either young and interested in guys their own age, or my age but interested in young twinks. It’s just a matter of time, though; I’m not giving up hope. ;-D